Us humans have a habit of doing everything far too quickly. We’re often rushing, under pressure, dashing from here to there, gulping down tea, gobbling down snacks on the move, basically we’re stressed. And believe it or not, that stress also affects your dog. Our best friends soak up our emotions and by sharing this whirlwind human existence with us, it does them no favours. (To say nothing of us).
Create a calm connection
Creating a calm connection with your dog is a fantastic way to bring you both closer. You may need to consciously set aside time for this but I can guarantee it will do you both good! It will be as fulfilling for you as it is for your dog. Calm connection is something us humans don’t do enough with our dogs and it’s usually because we’re always far too busy being busy.
Slow it down
So, for your own good and that of your dog, you need to slow ‘it’ down. ‘It’ referring to your daily life – at least for a period of perhaps 20-minutes once or twice a week, but by all means do more if you can.
I’d suggest, if you’re physically able, settle down on the floor with a comfy mat or rug beneath you. If it helps put on some relaxing music, light a candle, sit beside plants, look out on nature, cosy up by an open fire, whatever makes you feel grounded and relaxed. If sitting on the floor isn’t possible for you, simply sit somewhere you’re comfortable and feel at ease. A cosy couch, a favourite armchair or even your bed.
Take your time, breathe
Think of this as important time out for you and your dog. Call your dog over, invite him/her to either sit or lie beside you or to join you on the sofa, bed or chair (if allowed). If not, simply have them sit beside or in front of you and lean over to reach them. Take several deep breaths and as you breathe in imagine relaxing, positive vibes coming up through your feet from the earth. Visualise it travelling up your legs, your body, brightening your heart and moving up and out through the top of your head, taking all your stresses and worries with it. Then take three more deep breaths imagining the bright, gold of the sun shining down through the top of your head, warming your heart and coursing down through your body and legs and flowing back around you.
Connecting with your dog
Now you’re more relaxed and grounded you’re ready to connect. Focus purely on your dog and try not to think about anything else for the next 15-20 minutes. Being in the moment makes this connection much more meaningful. With loving intention just slowly place your hand or hands on your dog. Do whatever feels right for you and your furry friend. It can be anywhere on their body, but ensure it’s an area they’re comfortable with. Perhaps their chest, their side, their neck, or even their belly. Move your hand/s and fingers very slowly in this area, going elsewhere if it feels right. Just go slowly, with the flow.
Slow and loving is key
The crucial thing about this connection is that it’s done in a loving and slow way in a calm environment and with an unhurried mindset. For this 20-minutes nothing else matters except you and your dog. Calm connection is not about quick, excited strokes, frantic fun tickles, or roughing up your dog so it becomes very excited, jumping about or ‘revved up.’ Calm connection is actually the complete opposite and that’s why so many humans don’t do it and find it hard.
Slipping into ‘rest and digest’
You may be surprised how you and your dog react to this. As time ticks by you may notice your dog really relaxing, going sleepy-eyed, yawning, lying on his/her side, maybe even dozing off. You might find yourself feeling sleepy and yawning too. These are all very good signs that you’re making a calm connection. It means you are both slipping into your parasympathetic nervous system, the ‘rest and digest’ state. This is a very healthy physical and emotional place to be – for both of you. (Even more so if you and/or your dog are anxious). Continue for as long as you wish. If you can create this ‘calm connection time’ several times a week both you and your dog will benefit from it. Not only will it strengthen your bond, it will enhance the general well-being of you and your dog.